I try

A spatula serves it’s purpose, but it doesn’t only help you flip a burger.

As a disabled person it’s also an arm extender for me. Stick it in my mouth and I can turn my heat or AC on, I can adjust the temperature and also switch a light switch if I need.

When I started getting weaker a simple task like opening the refrigerator became difficult. So I took the straps from my cell phone and camera and tied them to the refrigerator handles. Voila! I was able to open the fridge and freezer again.

Well tonight I ran into a new problem. My media player in my bedroom decided to freeze. When this happens you need to unplug the gadget. Now there is no way for me to do it, but I had an idea. For some reason my apartment has a switch that turns off the power to the bottom outlets. So I figured I’d flip the switch off and then back on. This would reset the box for me.

First thing I had to do was move my CD case. That turned out to be more difficult than I expected. Was trying to push it with the footrests on my wheelchair. I ended up moving it, but not without breaking a few pieces off the jewel cases. No biggie since I don’t use CD’s anymore.

After moving the case I was able to reach the switch. I forgot that we put tape over the switch for no one could turn it off by accident. Tried to switch it, but the tape was too strong.

So now I’m trying to figure out how to remove the tape. My first idea was to use the knife on my Swiss Army Knife in my mouth to cut the tape. I was able to poke a few holes, but try as I did it just wouldn’t budge.

Next thought was a bigger knife. I have a hard time opening my kitchen drawers, but at this point I was too invested to just quit. Of course I only have butter knives in the drawer. Cleaned the drawer out a while back because it looked like a mess. So I took a butter knife and tried. Needless to say it was good for shit.

Every brilliant plan has that one part that is well just stupid. I figure I’ll heat the knife up with a lighter and melt the tape. There are so many reasons why this is a bad idea, but I’m in the zone now. I manage to remove some tape and not burn down my apartment.

The moment of truth arrives. I put the spatula in my mouth and try to flip the switch off. It took three attempts, but VICTORY! I successfully flip the switch off and back on again.

Slight problem. Turns out the media box was plugged into a top power outlet. FUCK! All I’ve done is unplugged my clock.

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